Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Marriage Quotes


All married couples should learn the art of battle as they should learn the art of making love. Good battle is objective and honest--never vicious or cruel. Good battle is healthy and constructive, and brings to a marriage the principle of equal partnership.

We only regard those unions as real examples of love and real marriages in which a fixed and unalterable decision has been taken. If men or women contemplate an escape, they do not collect all their powers for the task. In none of the serious and important tasks of life do we arrange such a "getaway." We cannot love and be limited.

The friendship between a man and a woman which does not lead to marriage or desire for marriage may be a life long experience of the greatest value to themselves and to all their circle of acquaintance and of activity; but for this type of friendship both a rare man and a rare woman are needed. Perhaps it should be added that either the man or the woman thus deeply bound in lifelong friendship who seeks marriage must find a still rarer man or woman to wed, to make such a three cornered comradeship a permanent success.

If divorce has increased by one thousand percent, don't blame the women's movement. Blame the obsolete sex roles on which our marriages were based.

One of the first things a relationship therapist learns is that couples argue to burn up energy that could be used for something else. In fact, arguments often serve the purpose of using up energy, so that the couple does not have to take the courageous, creative leap into an unknown they fear. Arguing serves the function of being a zone of familiarity into which you can retreat when you are afraid of making a creative breakthrough.


The right to marry whoever one wishes is an elementary human right compared to which "the right to attend an integrated school, the right to sit where one pleases on a bus, the right to go into any hotel or recreation area or place of amusement, regardless of one's skin or color or race" are minor indeed. Even political rights, like the right to vote, and nearly all other rights enumerated in the Constitution, are secondary to the inalienable human rights to "life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness" proclaimed in the Declaration of Independence; and to this category the right to home and marriage unquestionably belongs. [Dissent, Winter 1959]

What you are as a single person, you will be as a married person, only to a greater degree. Any negative character trait will be intensified in a marriage relationship, because you will feel free to let your guard down -- that person has committed him to you and you no longer have to worry about scaring him off.

Only two things are necessary to keep one's wife happy. One is to let her think she is having her own way, the other, to let her have it.

To keep your marriage brimming,
With love in the loving cup,
Whenever you're wrong admit it;
Whenever you're right shut up.

Monday, April 21, 2008

The day when I'm finished reading a book called "Confessions of a Shopaholic" by Sophie Kinsella


Rebecca Bloomwood just hit rock bottom. But she's never looked better....

Becky Bloomwood has a fabulous flat in London's trendiest neighborhood, a troupe of glamorous socialite friends, and a closet brimming with the season's must-haves. The only trouble is that she can't actually afford it—not any of it.

Her job writing at Successful Savings not only bores her to tears, it doesn't pay much at all. And lately Becky's been chased by dismal letters from Visa and the Endwich Bank—letters with large red sums she can't bear to read—and they're getting ever harder to ignore.

She tries cutting back; she even tries making more money. But none of her efforts succeeds. Becky's only consolation is to buy herself something ... just a little something....

Finally a story arises that Becky actually cares about, and her front-page article catalyzes a chain of events that will transform her life—and the lives of those around her—forever.

Sophie Kinsella has brilliantly tapped into our collective consumer conscience to deliver a novel of our times—and a heroine who grows stronger every time she weakens. Becky Bloomwood's hilarious schemes to pay back her debts are as endearing as they are desperate. Her "confessions" are the perfect pick-me-up when life is hanging in the (bank) balance.

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

The Day When I & Family watched 27 Dresses



Filem:
27 Dresses

Dibintangi oleh:
Katherine Heigl, James Marsden, Malin Akerman, Judy Greer dan Edward Burns.

Genre:
Komedi Romantik

Ulasan :
Jika anda sukakan filem ‘The Devil Wears Prada’, mungkin anda juga akan menggemari filem ‘27 Dresses’ ini kerana ia merupakan hasil tulisan daripada penulis yang sama. Filem komedi romantik ini menampilkan Katherine Heigl sebagai teraju utama yang membawakan watak Jane, individu yang idealistik, romantik, tetapi tidak yakin dengan diri sendiri.

Filem ini mengisahkan tentang kehidupan Jane, seorang wanita yang terlalu taksub dengan majlis perkahwinan. Dia bukan sahaja gemar menghadirinya, tetapi dia juga bertindak sebagai perancang perkahwinan merangkap pengapit kepada pengantin perempuan.

Ketaksubannya itu membuatkan rutin hariannya sentiasa dipenuhi dengan majlis perkahwinan. Bayangkan, dalam masa satu malam, Jane harus berada di dua majlis perkahwinan yang diadakan di dua lokasi berbeza. Walaupun harus bergegas ke sana sini, Jane tetap enjoy melakukannya dan yang paling menarik Jane mempunyai sealmari pakaian pengapit yang pernah digayakannya – sebanyak 27 pasang!


Dalam kesibukan tugasnya, rupa-rupanya Jane menyimpan perasaan terhadap bossnya, George (Burns). Tetapi dia tidak berani meluahkan perasaannya itu kerana risau yang dia hanya bertepuk sebelah tangan. Namun, apabila adiknya, Tess (Akerman) mula menjalinkan hubungan cinta dengan George, Jane mula menyedari ada yang tidak kena dengan dirinya. Lebih memburukkan keadaan, apabila Tess dan George mengambil keputusan untuk berkahwin.

Walaupun Jane kecewa kerana Tess akan berkahwin dengan jejaka pujaannya, dia terpaksa bersetuju untuk merancang perkahwinan adiknya itu. Dalam berhadapan dengan kekecewaannya itu, Jane sering meluahkan perasaannya kepada Kevin, kenalannya yang merupakan seorang penulis kolum perkahwinan di salah sebuah akhbar.


Sebenarnya, Jane bukan sahaja patah hati kerana adiknya akan berkahwin dengan George, tetapi ada sebab lain yang membuatkan dia merasakan Tess tidak layak untuk berkahwin dengan George.

Hendak tahu bagaimana kesudahan filem ini? Saksikannya di pawagam berhampiran anda. Jangan risau, ‘27 Dresses’ memang menghiburkan dan yang paling penting ia mempunyai pengakhiran yang cukup romantik!


Info Menarik:
Heroin filem ini, Katherine Heigl mula menjadi perhatian setelah membintangi drama bersiri ‘Roswell’. Namanya semakin melonjak apabila dia turut berlakon di dalam drama ‘Grey’s Anatomy’ dengan memegang watak sebagai Dr. Isobel ‘Izzie’ Stevens. Pencapaiannya dalam lakonan terbukti apabila dia menerima Anugerah Emmy pada tahun 2007 dan turut tercalon untuk Anugerah Golden Globe.

Beauty is in the Maths

Is there a connection between health, beauty and mating? You bet, writes DR ALBERT LIM KOK HOOI.

THE mating game is as old as the human species. It has been so shaped by culture and tradition that its current form often eludes us. Mating, beauty and health are three sides of an equilateral triangle.

The world’s expenditure in pursuit of beauty runs to billions of ringgit every year.

In Malaysia, beauty salons, hair salons and nail salons have mushroomed. We buy cosmetics, skin care products and shampoo to the tune of hundreds of millions of ringgit.

We pursue yoga and qigong because they bring out our “inner beauty”.
Closely linked to beauty is health. We go for walks and jogs when the weather permits. If not, we hit the gym to pound the treadmill and pump iron.

We witness the convergence of good health and good looks at the upmarket fitness centres that dot the Klang Valley.

Is there a connection between health, beauty and mating?

You bet. In the last two decades, scientific research has shown the inextricable link between these three.

Beautiful women are beautiful universally. One mathematical ratio that determines beauty and health is the waist-hip ratio (WHR).

Professor Devendra Singh, a psychologist at the University of Texas, has studied WHR extensively.

He has noted in his research that women who are recognisably “beautiful” and “attractive” have a WHR of 0.7 or thereabouts.

Tests on men, from Africa to the Azores, was also consistent on this ratio.

Both Twiggy (as thin as a reed) and Marilyn Monroe (as meaty as they come) had a 0.7 waist-hip ratio.

A woman with this ratio has

l minimal abdominal fat signifying high estrogen level and good health and

l a pelvic brim large enough for a baby to pass through the birth canal.

Unconsciously, men are looking for healthy women with good reproductive potential.

Men and women prefer symmetry in their potential mates.

In a study by Professor Thornhill and Steven Gangestad of the University of Mexico, hundreds of college-age women and men had their ears, feet, ankles, hands and elbows measured.

Questionnaires revealed that men who were more symmetrical started having sex three to four years earlier and had more sex partners than their asymmetrical counterparts.

Symmetrical people smell better too. The professors found that women prefer the smell of symmetrical men. Have you ever fallen in love with a date whose smell turns you off?

Complexion counts for a lot. Almost all of beauty therapy is about skincare. We strive for a good complexion. If it comes naturally, all the better. If not, we cough out big bucks for facials.

We use sunscreen lotion (the higher the SPF, the better) and skincare products to show our better face to the world.

A good complexion is a good surrogate measure of good health. Good health underpins fertility. A fertile mate is what we look for (consciously or unconsciously) in our quest to pass on our genes.

Another strong indicator of physical beauty is “averageness” or “koinophilia”.

When shapes of human faces are averaged together (lips that are neither too thick nor knife-edge thin and eyes which are not goldfish-like or slits), they become closer to the ideal image.

They are perceived as attractive. The irony of it all is that the ideal beauty is the average look.

In an experiment, men and women in the United States were asked to put together eyes, nose, lips, chin and facial shape using the ID kits used by the police in composing pictures of suspects.

The ideal man resembles Richard Gere while the ideal woman resembles Winona Ryder.

Is beauty only skin-deep? It seems so. What is inner beauty? It is probably good health. Why all the bother with beauty and good health? To look for the ideal mate, of course.

The pursuit of beautiful women goes back to ancient times.

The oldest reference linking beauty and small waist size (another and perhaps more accurate indicator than the waist-hip ratio) is the epithet of Queen Nefertiri, the favourite wife of Ramses II. “The buttocks are full, but her waist is narrow.... the one for who[m] the sun shines...”


Dr Albert Lim Kok Hooi is a practising oncologist. His eclectic interests include evolutionary biology and philosophy of science. He sees himself as a public educator on science.

Articles taken from the New Straits Times

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