Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Friendship Quote

To tell or not to tell!

If you have found out that your best friend's partner is cheating on your friend, here are a few things to consider before you decide to spill the beans

To be a true friend to someone means you need to share a relationship with him or her whereby there is unbreakable trust and understanding. The friends you have in your life stand as a rock solid support system when things go wrong and when you need a shoulder to lean on. So, what do you do if you find out that one of best friend's partners is cheating on him or her? Regardless of how close you are to your friend, it is not an easy task to tell him or her that the person who he or she loves is being unfaithful. What makes it even worse, is that you will be regarded as the bearer of the news that is probably going to break their heart. So, before you get impulsive and run to your friend to spill the beans on his or her partner's infidelity, you need to consider the following:


The first thing you need to consider before telling your friend about his or her partner's cheating spree, is to understand how you would feel had you been in your friend's place. For example, if your friend was the one telling you that your partner was unfaithful to you, would you be angry, would you hate your friend for telling you or would you thank him or her. Yes, people react differently to different situations and maybe the way you would have reacted and the way your friend reacts will be different. But if you can identify with the situation by placing yourself in it, it might make it easier for you to handle your friend's reaction when you tell him or her. But at all costs make sure you tell them, because if they do find out eventually and know that you knew all along, they will resent you for keeping it from them for so long.


Another important thing to do before informing your friend about the fact that the love of their life is also the love of another person or person's lives, is to figure out your motives behind the telling. Are you telling your friend because you genuinely care for his or her well-being or it is because you just thought it is a juicy piece of gossip and are more excited about the consequences of telling him or her, rather than worrying about the fact that they are dating some infidel sleazy person. If it is the latter, then you are not really a great friend to begin with, but if it is out of genuine concern then make sure the news is broken to them with complete compassion and try to be subtle about it.


Before telling your friend something so serious you need to know where you stand with him or her. Are you just very good acquaintances or actually the best of friends? Do you usually tell each other everything? If yes, then go ahead, if no, maybe you need to find a better way to let them know besides just saying it outright. If you are not so close to your friend, then he or she might just not believe you and will probably doubt your intentions.


As mentioned earlier your friend might just turn the tables and call you a liar or believe their boyfriend or girlfriend instead of believing you. So, always be aware of the consequences before you open your mouth. If your friend's partner convinces him or her that they are truly faithful and that you are just trying to cause trouble, you might lose your friend to this person. Or, your friend might believe you but resent the fact hat they had to hear this terrible news from you, it seems like a no win situation, but for the sake of your friend you need to take the risk. Just be prepared for the consequences so that you don't end up hurting yourself.


One thing you need to get right before telling your friend, is to actually know for a fact that the cheating is happening. Unless you have solid proof that the partner is cheating on your friend, don't say anything. Make sure you are right and double check the details, if you are wrong and he or she is actually faithful, then you will look like a liar and well — no one wants to be friends with a liar. So always verify the facts.

It is a delicate situation so handle it with understanding.


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